Friday, April 27, 2018

disquietude

I feel like I've changed.
I've changed so much.
So much so that I'm struggling.
I'm struggling to recognize myself.

Is this a good change? Or is it a bad one?
I don't know.

But I'm happy. But I'm uneasy.
I'm afraid.

I don't know if I'm doing the right things.
I don't know if I'm making the right decisions.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I no longer know what's real.

The happier I am, the more uneasy I feel.
The happier I am, the more anxious I feel.
The higher you get, the harder you fall.

Sadness brings comfort.
It makes me happy.

I don't know what's going on.
My thoughts are in a constant state of chaos.
I have so many things to say.
But I don't know how to express them.

It's a struggle.
I'm struggling.
Help me. Save me please.
Please?