What has gotten into people nowadays? What happened to humanity? It really hurts me whenever I see stories, pictures or articles about the horrible things that are happening around the world. Be it abuse, accidents, deaths or whatsoever. Like this picture I just saw on Facebook. About how a son treated his 90 year old father. About how he only gives his dad leftovers, and made him do the house chores. It doesn't matter whether this is real or not, because I know that such things are indeed happening. What is going on in this guy's head? What was he thinking? I can never understand how or why someone would do something like this. I mean his dad brought him up, he should show filial piety, and treat him well. But instead, he abused his dad. Like seriously?
It's scary how there are so many of such incidences happening nowadays. Shootings, killings, abuse, and such. I really don't understand. Is it because the importance of money have risen above kinship, friendship and others? Is is because people are becoming more and more self centered and insensitive? If yes, why? Because of this society that we live in? Because of influence? Why? So many questions left unanswered. So many horrible acts left unseen. And so many people left uncared for and neglected. Where's the love?
Oh and, there's one thing that has been in my head for a pretty long time. It's about schools. I find it funny how those rebellious students, who are not appreciative, are getting all the attention and care from teachers and counselors. And those who really need help, care and attention, are not given any. Most of the time, those who are in need of help, care and attention are those quiet ones. Those who seldom talk in class, or participate in class activities, or those who people don't notice or recognize his or her existence. Those left out ones. These are the ones who needs help, but are too afraid to ask for it. Being a student for four years in my secondary school, I have seen this happening a lot. And I don't get why.
I needed help. I needed someone to talk to. I wanted to visit the counselor. But was I given a chance to? N-o, no. I remember in secondary two, my teacher said she would arrange for me to visit the counselor after an incident that happened in class about me writing some suicidal stuff. I was happy. I was indeed happy. But guess what? That visit never happened. In secondary four, I ran away to the toilet in the middle of an O level F&N practical session. I stayed there for about an hour. I was stressed out. I was crying and hurting myself. The teacher said she would arrange for me to visit the counselor. I was hopeful. But guess what. That visit never happened either. What a disappointment. Was it because I wasn't important? Or was my case too small to remember? I don't know. The only thing I know was that, I had no one to talk to. I had no help. Sec 4 was also the O level year, which added a lot of stress. I had countless suicidal thoughts that year, and bit myself on several occasions. But I told no one. I would cry in the middle of the night, or in the toilet, making sure no one knew. Because no one seemed to have time for me. So I keep it all inside.
I didn't let my parents know, because I didn't want them to worry. I didn't want to add on to their stress at work.
The only reason why I'm still alive, are my parents.
Because I know they love me.
And I don't want to make them sad.
Especially my mum.
But it's still happening. And I need help.
I need.
Help.