when you're so accustomed to things being not okay,
that it's hard to convince yourself that being okay is actually okay.
when every good thing that you ever had always ends so promptly and abruptly,
it's hard to convince yourself that good things can actually last, and that you do deserve good things in your life.
it's hard to not jump to the negatives right away when you're so used to it being that way.
yes of course i know that that's not good, i'm fully aware that that's self-sabotage.
but breaking the mold isn't easy, it's hard to change something so deeply ingrained.
but i will try.
i will try.
no promises, but i will try.